Wednesday, August 19, 2009
One thing that really gets on my nerves is this. Many of us want new and better results in our relationships without putting the time and effort into becoming knowledgeable about the root issues of the problems we deal with in relationships. too many of us want a cosmetic makeover in our relationships. I say that because we shun or reject uncensored truth, and the real work it will require for lasting change. We want everything fast and easy. We must stop stop evading self evaluation because many times that's where change and growth starts in our relationships.
Recently someone asked me why my blogs on relationships are so long and I became a little irritated. I wasn't irritated by them just thought that some people could miss valuable information that could really help them and their relationships as it relates to love because they are too lazy to read. In this life what you need will not always be handed to you. There are some things you must seek out for yourself. Ultimately, as it relates to love and relationships, I write this blog understanding that we will only change things in our lives and relationships when we get tired of banging our heads against the wall of disappointment and Ignorance. We must change the things we can no longer afford to tolerate. we have been talking about Love but we must first commit to loving ourselves. Love not only looks out for the well being and interest of the other person but it also cares for the giver as well. Love is not about ignoring you and your needs totally. Love is not blind and it's not stupid.
Self love would not tell you to ignore abuse and neglect. You can love a person as they are going through different struggle in your relationship but you must know when their struggle and issues are too damaging to your life to carry any longer. You can still love a person even if your relationship has to change. you may be dating someone and you are realizing that the relationship is not good and is very negative. You may still love that person but you don't have to stay in the dating relationship with that person because that type of relationship isn't working for the both of you. This is why a relationship with God and wise counsel is so important as we seek to enter romantic relationships. sometimes we try to date people we were only supposed to be friends with or we date people that we have nothing in common with and there is no common purpose connecting us to that person other than they are "Fine" or "Sexy." If sex get involve at some point when we are casually dating an individual it causes great confusion because we tend to call what we feel from the experiences love when in most instances it is not truly love at all. Start loving yourself by thinking before you act and understand that wisdom for better choices come from accountability and good information. Seek them both if you truly desire to love and be loved correctly.
Think on these things...............................................
Saturday, August 15, 2009
The character and nature of love and lust will never change. I 'm centering my discussions around the character and nature of love based on IICorithians Chapter 13.
I believe in many cases we have misunderstood and demonstrated a nature in relationships that hasn't reflected love that was healthy and balanced due to great levels of selfishness. Selfishness isn't a characteristic of love. It reflects the nature of lust that only seeks to take and not give. It seeks to expose and not protect. it's this misconception that I seek to challenge.
Most people attribute love to a feeling. In fact we do feel love but it's not a feeling. I believe love is a "NATURE" that we decide to commit to in our mind and soul before it becomes enamored in emotions.
1: The essential qualities or characteristics by which something is recognized; "it is the nature of fire to burn"; "the true nature of jealousy"
2: The emotional and intellectual attributes that determine a person's characteristic, actions and reactions; "it is his nature to help others"
Lust and love have two different natures. We either commit to the nature of love or commit to the nature of lust in our relationships. Love and lust contradicts each other by the nature in which they act and respond. There motives are different. They are what they are. In your relationships stop looking for what not there imagining that it's there. Judge what nature is consistently presenting itself to you and call it what it is. We must stop calling lust love.
Finally we must examine ourselves and determine whether we are truly demonstrating the nature of love or demonstrating the nature of lust. Before we tell some one we love them we must know and understand the nature we are committing ourselves to demonstrating. Love is not about just describing how we feel it's about deciding how we are committed to care, act and respond consistently toward a person place or thing.
I don't know what it takes for each individual to make that decision but it's from that decision that love establishes it's place in our heart. When we classify love as a feeling it gives off the impression that love is subject to change and that's not true in my opinion. I believe that love is a nature that we commit to beyond how we feel. IICorithians Chapter 13 states:
Love is patient,
love is kind,
love does not envy,
(love does) not boast,
(love is) not proud,
(love is) not disgraceful,
(love does) not desire its own (way),
(love is) not provoked,
(love does) not reckon the wrong,
(love does) not rejoice at unrighteousness but
(love) rejoices with the truth:
(love) bears all things,
(love) believes all things,
(love) hopes all things,
(love) endures all things.
The only thing that's subject to change based on it's nature is lust. we cant mix the nature of love with the nature of lust. It's from this place that I desire to see change.
Think on these things...........................
Eric T. Little
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Hi! my name is Eric Little.
I have a few things on my mind as it relates to love and relationships that I must release. Feel free to listen in and respond if you'd like.
Where is the Love? You know, today I'm really bothered by all of the hate and bitterness in the world that surrounds us daily especially when it comes to relationships. Is it really supposed to be this way? Why are so many people divorcing and breaking up their families because of irreconcilable differences that they vowed to work through at the alter or in the court house when they were getting married? why are so many people disgruntled and confused when it comes to dating and relationships? These are some questions I seek to express my deepest thoughts and concerns about as I move forward in this discussion with many within the webmosphere. If we are to try to understand why some of these questions exist we must begin our journey here.
In my opinion,Love is a beautiful concept that was created in the mind of God. It's a gift that he released into the time and space we occupy called life. He did this to enable us to experience the joy and fulfilment that comes into our lives through something called relationships. The sad thing is because of the lack of love being truly understood, expressed and demonstrated in our social and personal enviorment we have been damaged by it's counterfeit called lust. Lust parades itself as love. This causes us to live not really understanding what true love is and how it should cause us to look, act, and respond under it's influence toward each other. Many relationships aren't under the influence of love. They're under the influence of lust and selfishness. Because of this we abuse and mishandle each other physically, sexually, and emotionally to gain a controling postion in the relationship.
Let's be real! Most of us really want to express Love and recieve Love in it's purest nature and form but, most of us have never experienced a "true"demonstration of love. Many of us have been encountered by a self-centered emotion called lust. Many have accepted selfish people into their lives that take and never give. People that tear them down and never build up. selfish people that lust after you for how you look and what have to offer them will never protect your best interest. They will always look out for themselves. I don't care how much they say they love you. Love never acts or responds with selfish motives. Love seeks unity and oneness. Lust seeks control. Love Liberates. Lust Dictates. Love sees and accepts you for who you are and challenges you to change and grow. Lust sees and accepts you for what you have and disgards you when something new comes along. Love is hardcore, confident, sure, a never ending cycle of truth and respect. Love is for all people but only real men and women can live under it's influence.
Through media forms such as movies, music and music videos we are flooded with many unrealistic and unhealthy images and views of what life, love and relationships are supposed to look like. We set our standards for life and relationships based on role-plays and characters on television that are created to entertain us with a false view of reality.
Let's step out of TV and music video land! The characters we imitate in our relationships were created to sell us illusions and mindsets that create a fals sense of reality. These cycles and mindsets destroy our lives and distort the true essence of love and relationships because we dont really know or fully understand what love is.
Sexual Emotion driven Lust says yes to anything that will: put me at an advantage, and cater to what I want. It's selfish and eager to take something from you without giving anything back. Sexual Emotion driven Lust last for just a moment and when it has taken what it desired the desire for that person or thing leaves. In other word I've taken everything I can from you. I'm not in Lust with you anymore.
Love says no to anything that will: put the person it's directed toward in a losing position in anything. Love always look for a way to give or add to the relationship. Love is a decision that you make that NEVER CHANGES. IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN FALL OUT OF. Love doesn't abuse it protects! Love says no when saying yes will not benefit the other person in some way.
If you are in a relationship you really have to know what you're workin with. I will leave you with this thought. You have to look at love like a apple tree and sexual emotion driven lust as a orange tree.
This is a absolute truth! A orange tree will never ever, ever, grow a apple on it's branches. In other words judge your relationships based on the fruit it's showing you on a daily basis.
If what you experience is truly love it will bear a certain fruit that will never lie to you or lead you astray. The fruit you see is what you really have.
Open your mind to this Uncensored Truth.
I say these things not as a hater but an emancipator. I seek to strengthen the weak, challenge the strong, and provoke us to embrace uncensored truth. think on these things..................
To be continued
Eric T. Little