Monday, December 12, 2011
To LOVE is to BE PATIENT!
How many ways have you been turned off, hurt, frustrated, or badly handled by someone that failed to BE PATIENT. Just think about how you felt this week as you ordered some food while sitting in the drive thru and that person rushed you or showed little patience for you as you were trying to order. How did you feel?
Think about when that person behind you blew their horn at you while you were waiting for the traffic light to change. The light had changed for only a few seconds but they were so impatient only thinking of what they wanted you to do and where they wanted to go. How did you feel?
I think my point is clear. It's the same way in relationships when we are dealing with one another. We must practice patient because it doesn't feel good to be rushed or pressured unnecessarily.
I discovered in my own life that I can be Impatient at times when I'm afraid of something, afraid of losing something or missing a opportunity. What's the key word here? FEAR!
As it relates to relationships how did FEAR affect my ability to be patient, As a child in my pre-teens my father walked away from my mother and left her to raise me and my 7 brothers and sisters. My dad walking away when we really needed him affected me greatly. I began to fear being abandoned, unaccepted, or not good enough.After several failed romantic relationships I began to see how that FEAR was causing me to become IMPATIENT and NEEDY. Always finding myself looking and expecting someone to make me feel wanted and accepted.( I know it's unpopular for a man to confess a level of neediness but this is a real problem with many people and it's not just a WOMAN THING it's a Life thing. If you are a man reading this dont be afraid to look at root issues in your life because that will affect your son and daughter and their children. Life must become bigger than our EGO!)
I began to set unrealistic expectations for what I expected from them. I would become impatient and rush into relationships that were bad for me or seriously frustrate the GOOD relationships.
Today in my life I have seriously made examining me a high priority.For years I was unaware of what I know now about me and the issues that affect how I give and show love and How I demonstrate PATIENCE.
1.You see PATIENCE is really about understanding and caring for the needs of others as you take care of yourself
2.IMPATIENCE is really about trying to get your need or desire met without thought or regard for what others need.
3. FEAR is a poison that weakens, breakdowns, and destroys everything it's connected to or directed at. FEAR builds insecurity that stems from some pain,hurtful experience, or traumatic situation in our lives that went unnoticed or unaddressed.
1 John 4:18 MAKES SOMETHING CLEAR ABOUT THE GOD WHO IS LOVE AND THE NATURE OF LOVE
There is no fear where love exists. Rather, perfect love destroys fear, for fear involves punishment, and the person who lives in fear has not been perfected in love.
Let me make something very clear. God through Christ is the perfect love that passage above is talking about. We cannot reach out to people only to give us perfect love or expect them to cast away and disarm all of our fears. God is the only being that posses a perfect Love for all. His perfect Love flows through us when we commit to loving ourselves and others according to the nature of love that reflects him when we demonstrate it in the way it's laid out BELOW in first Corithians Chapter 13
I believe that love is a nature that we commit to beyond how we feel. ICorithians Chapter 13 states:
LOVE IS PATIENT,( This is the first characteristic of love that we must demonstrate.)
love is kind,
love does not envy,
(love does) not boast,
(love is) not proud,
(love is) not disgraceful,
(love does) not desire its own (way),
(love is) not provoked,
(love does) not reckon the wrong,
(love does) not rejoice at unrighteousness but
(love) rejoices with the truth:
(love) bears all things,
(love) believes all things,
(love) hopes all things,
(love) endures all things.
It's through My relationship with God and people that continue to demonstrate LOVE and PATIENCE toward me throughout the years that I have found strength and freedom to live free from the bondage of fear that gained it's power in my life through bad experiences.
YOU SEE IF WE ARE TO TRULY LOVE AND DEOMONSTRATE PATIENCE we must clear the baggage of our past out of the way which will affect our ability to cater and care for others.
I shared An issue in my life that I believe have given you a great basis for which to examine YOUR OWN LIFE. For me it has been fear that hampered my ability to be patient and allow that aspect of LOVE to consistently flow from my life. WHAT IS IT FOR YOU????
IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH BEING PATIENT WITH PEOPLE ESPECIALLY THE PEOPLE YOU CLAIM TO LOVE START EXAMINING YOURSELF! IN MOST CASES THE PROBLEM YOU ARE HAVING IS PROBABLY STARTING WITH YOU.